The Times They are a Changin'

So since my break down with chemistry I have been thinking a lot about change. Just for some clarification I got an 82 on the last test so I am no longer thinking about the 44. As long as I get a C in the class I will be happy - which is totally doable, I might even crank out a B.

Anyway, back to change. During the period of my freak out I was considering different majors, psychology being the main one and now I am considering different schools all together. I do love UVM I love the location and I love the people but one of the things that I love about it, one of the things that drew me to it, is also the thing that I don't like about it and that is how laid back it is. I am a very driven student. If you know me I would assume you know that I set goals and I dedicate copious amounts of time to achieve them. The people that I've met up here, although very intelligent, do not have the same drive that I do and that puts me in quite a pickle.

To study or not to study, that is the question.

I won't lie, I enjoy studying. For one thing, its alone time, which I can always use more of, but other then that, I simply like to learn - I love when things come together and I love to watch myself put stuff together. Studying= good. Unfortunately many people up here do not have the same idea and its difficult to both balance a personal life and get good grades when all your friends are in the hall chatting and you really need/want to study. I don't like to feel like I am isolating myself but I am starting to get that sensation. I feel like I need to be at a school where the students learn for the sake of learning, and not just because they have to. For me, learning comes before partying and frankly, I enjoy it more, so I'm looking for a college with the same values.

That being said, I realize that I have not met all 12,000 people on campus and I am sure that there are some very intellectual people on campus that I have yet to find I just don't want to search for them. I was so excited to get out of high school because I was excited to be surrounded by the people in my AP classes all the time and I don't feel like that's happening. When I went to Cornell I felt that I could learn from all the people around me and I didn't have to search for those people they were just there. Here, I don't get that same vibe and I don't really want to be the minority again like I was in high school. Maybe I'm just lazy.

When I was looking for colleges I ignored liberal arts schools which I am beginning to think was a mistake. The only liberal arts school I did look at was Reed College in Oregon and (sorry mom) it was poo-pooed by my mother because it was not a research institution. I loved Reed because of the student's drive to learn. Classes are difficult but the students are surrounded by others who are going through the same difficulties and they are all driven enough to overcome them. I need that drive. When I applied to colleges I made the mistake of not applying to any reach schools. This left me with the feeling that I could have done better then UVM and I really won't be able to rest until I know if I can or not. Now I am looking at other liberal arts schools like Reed where learning is the main priority - these schools are also pretty difficult to get into so hopefully by applying as a transfer I'll kill to birds with one stone. I need to do a bit more research but there is a good possibility that I will apply to transfer for next fall semester.

Here's a list of colleges I'm considering:

Reed College

Wesleyan University - they have this great Neuroscience and Behavioral major (combo of psych and bio)

Skidmore College - they focus on making their students creative learners (something I always thought was important) and also have a Neuroscience major

Cornell - although not a liberal arts school I have credits there so I might as well apply and see if I get in...mom's pushing for this one.

Now here's what I ask of you all of my smarmey readers (aka AP English class and a few of my mom's friends) are there any other colleges you can think of that would give me the same intellectual stimulus as AP English did where the students are as committed to learning as I aspire to be and at the same time have a personality?

Quickie

I haven't posted any pictures and Vermont is to beautiful for you all not to see. So just a little update on my daily ganders.

I really do walk around and just gawk at how beautiful it is. Every single day there is another view that makes me stop in my tracks and just look. I am going to try to make time to catch the fall foliage and post some more pictures.

Just so you know....

I am not a total failure. I found out that I got a 90 on my bio test today which is also 25 percent of my grade.

I do not completely fail at college. And I am studying so much for chemistry now so that I never do that poorly again..

Life is Good again.

Just Breathe

Yesterday was my first ever three hour exam. It was in chemistry. I did the reading. I did the practice problems. I did the practice tests. I studied an average of 8 hours a day for six consecutive days. I pushed all other assignments aside to study chemistry. I got a 35.

The class average was a 55. It is a class of 206 students. Clearly something is wrong. There will not be a curve. My grade in the class is solely based on four tests.

Luckily, the lowest test score is dropped. I now have a chemistry tutor. I will be attending more office hours. I will get through this and I will do better next time. If I do not do better my mom has promised to not disown me if I change my major to Wildlife Biology which requires much less chemistry.

Life moves on and so will I.

Who are these guys?

Last night after service my friends and I went to a dance party in the basement of Slade Hall. Slade Hall has a co-op with UVM farms and the people who live there grow and cook all of their own food, which is a pretty neat. I had considered living there so I was really excited to see what it was like. I previously thought that the GreenHouse was where all the hippies lived, I was wrong. Slade is where the real hippies live. I walked down stairs and you could cut the cloud of body oder with a knife. Other than that though it was a really cool time. The band that was playing did not have any lyrics they just jammed out (all half naked) and the crowd of people dancing (also half naked) were just rocking to the music and swinging their dreds. It was a really interesting feeling. I've been to local shows before but they were always very intense and mosh pits usually formed - this was so chill and just laid back. Really neat.

This morning I woke up and found out that my neighbors across the hall, Michael and Julian, had these guys who were in a band touring the country sleeping in their room. I don't think that I have ever considered allowing people that I don't know sleep with me, but I guess they needed a place to stay and Michael was either nice or high enough (maybe both) to let them stay with them. As we speak he is going to the grocery store to buy them some food so that after their show tonight at radio-bean they have something to eat on their travels. A girl on my floor, Sophie, gave them a bag of her mom's homemade granola- my Jersey skepticism makes me immediately think that they are up to no good but I am slowly learning that people aren't always going to hurt you.

Today we are all headed down to the farmer's market in Burlington and then are going to go for a walk along the lake. Its going to be a very outdoorsey day - which i'm really excited about. And tonight at 6 we are going to Radio-Bean to see the two guys that slept on our floor play their instruments. Again nothing I never thought I would do yet here I am doing it. College is Great.

Happy New Year!

In case you were wondering UVM has a very large Jewish population. Oddly enough even with all the research I did about that school I never knew this. It seems like my entire floor is Jewish, which is really cool because through them I am learning all about Jewish traditions. For example tonight I am going to my first ever Jewish service with basically my entire floor to celebrate the new year and afterward we're going to go back to the dorms and celebrate with apples with honey as well a some yummy drinks. Tomorrow everyone (myself included) is going down to the lake to throw bread into the water as a representation of the washing away of sins.

I think its really interesting that one of the clubs I am becoming affiliated with on campus is the Hillel Club. I am not a religious person but there is something about the culture that intrigues me. I don't know if the Hillel club knows that I'm not Jewish - but my Jewish friends keep telling me that its fine that I keep tagging along with them so I'm going to continue. A month ago if you were to ask me if I were to be a part of a religious group I would have laughed in your face because I didn't think that I liked religion, but maybe I just don't like christian religions. Or maybe I just didn't like the very small parts of religion that I was taught at my church when I was little. Its experiences like these that are going to make me love college. I'm certainly learning a lot in class (in fact today I humbled myself and set up an appointment with a chemistry tutor) but it is life lessons that I'm going to remember years after the book-smarts leave me.

A very long post about college

I haven't posted in quite a long time. Mostly because I don't really feel that there is anything post-worthy and I still don't but I feel guilty not posting so we'll give it a shot.

College is wonderful.

I love waking up every morning and looking at the gorgeous mountains. I love walking to class and seeing Lake Champlain, and I love the people. I don't know how to describe the people at UVM other than good. I have never been to a place before where I felt that everyone around me could actually do something to change the world. At UVM not only do people care about world issues, they actually know something about it and are trying to make the world a better place. I love walking around campus, meeting new people and hearing their goals because it gives me hope that the world is not going to self-destruct - there are people who really do want to save it and I am lucky enough to be surrounded by them.

My dorm is wonderful.

My best friends thus far are my neighbors - what can be better than that? I live in the GreenHouse, which means I applied to live in a community that commits to living environmentally friendly. I am so happy that I made the decision to live here because the people are just amazing. Going back to the whole change the world thing, the students living with me really do want to reduce their carbon footprint and the faculty that teaches the GreenHouse Program are so excited to show us how. We have composting buckets in the garbage room - and the compost we produce goes into a garden that grows organic vegetables. There is going to be a tri-applethon where students get an opportunity to go apple picking but instead of using motor-transportation people with either walk, bike or canoe to the orchard and then walk, bike or canoe back. There is a guild within the GreenHouse that creates environmentally friendly artwork, one of the items on the agenda is organic hand made tye-dye. And the list goes on, there are just so many opportunities to learn how to live the way that I want to live.

My classes are wonderful.

On the first day of my philosophy class, my philosophy professor introduced himself as Don and said that we can call him whatever we like as long as it is not "Mr. Lobe" or "Professor Lobe". He also explained why he did not feel that some words were curse words: "Fuck and shit are not bad words. Everybody shits and fucking is good so how can something that feel good be bad?" and "Lets say that someone cut me off while I was driving. I would never say "that bitch cut me off" because the word bitch is derogatory I would say "that fucking asshole cut me off" because again fucking is good and everyone has an asshole." Needless to say the class is interesting. I can tell that the guy is a genius, sometimes I can't even understand what he is saying but in a class of 20 I really enjoy having to try to decipher his lectures. I love going to his class because I think differently than in any other class. I am taking biology, chemistry, and statistics so philosophy gives my science brain a break and allows me to use some creativity and analysis.

Clubs are beginning to be wonderful.

I love a packed schedule and luckily my time is starting to fill up. I am apart of the FeelGood club which makes grilled sandwiches to end global hunger. All of the food for the sandwiches are locally donated to the club and we sell them for a $4 donation that goes directly to the Global Hunger Project. I think that we have already made somewhere around $5000 dollars this year (in 2 weeks) so I am very excited to continue with it. I am trying to do some more volunteering with an environmental club called VSTEP and am looking into alternative winter and spring break options as well. I take a free salsa class on tuesday nights and just got myself a 10hr/week job. On top of that I am considering taking up pottery and using the pottery studio on campus.

So yeah I'm getting busy.

Labs start this week which means an added amount of work. I'm hoping to handle it all. I feel like even though I'm pretty involved there are so many other clubs I wanted to join that I just don't have time for. You may have noticed that there is no singing or acting on that list. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not. I'm working on trying new things - if I miss it enough I can always audition for a choir next semester.

I think thats about it. I'm coming home October 24th for the annual Pig Roast. I am pretty excited to eat a home cooked meal (especially if I can cook it myself). More than that I'm excited to sit in my pajama's at the kitchen table and watch the news. Or (again in my pajamas) sit around the fire pit and enjoy the sunset. Its the little things that I miss the most. Oh and BAGELS. I miss bagels so much. The only bagels I get are thomas' and no one who is not from Jersey understands that Thomas' Bagels are not bagels. They are merely thick bread with a hole in the center and they are disgusting. People should not have to toast their bagel in order to make it crisp. It is possible that the first thing I do when I get to Jersey is order an egg and cheese bagel at Lox Stocked followed by some pizza at Mario's. Surrounded by friends from home, of course.