So not only am I Lost...

...I'm also kinda obsessed with a serial killer.

After Chelsea's post I realized how much I missed being obsessed with a television drama. Lost isn't on for awhile so I turned to Dexter. The show is about a serial killer who kills other serial killers. Here's my thought process on it:

The main character is a serial killer who kills other serial killers. The inconsistency lies in whether or not the main character can be considered moral and whether serial killers have a right to life.

P1: Killing people is not moral

P2: Dexter Kills people

C: Dexter is not moral

But

Many people believe that it is moral to kill serial killers via death penalty. This implies that serial killers do not have a right to life. Can Dexter really be considered immoral for killing serial killers if serial killers do not have a right to life?

If Dexter was caught he would be considered a serial killer. Inference tells us that therefore, Dexter does not have a right to life. But Dexter only kills a being that also do not have a right to life. Therefore he can not technically be considered a "killer" because he has not killed anything that has a right to life and so Dexter retains his right to life.

Can Dexter be considered immoral for killing something that does not have a right to life? Can you be considered immoral for killing a fly which (presumably) does not have a right to life? I would say no. This leaves me with the opinion that Dexter is doing nothing wrong and is morally justified to kill the serial killers. However, murder is still not morally correct and therefore I am left with an inconsistency as to whether or not to "like" Dexter and I am only two episodes in.

Its kinda a lot like batman. Dexter is a person who breaks moral rules in order to help society. The question is whether society is willing to let a person break the rules.

This probably wasn't the best thing to do right before finals because I find myself thinking about it more often then about my impending exams. However I feel like I logically thought it through so I'm going to say that in watching Dexter I am also studying for Philosophy.

Thirty-Three Thankful Thoughts

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. This year I find myself appreciating it more then ever. Here are some things I'm thankful for.

1. My family - I never realized how much I relied on them before I went to college. They (especially my mom) are my support system and I am so lucky to have them behind me.

2. My friends - right behind my family my friends are (obviously) the people I turn to. I somewhat expected to lose touch with a lot of people after college but luckily I haven't yet. I can't wait to see every one again if not on this break, the next.

3. My health - I've always been a healthy person so I didn't gent the flu shot even though swine seemed to surround me on campus. The peak of swine seems to be ending (for now) and I haven't yet gotten sick (knock on wood). I'm not quite sure how I would handle myself sick in college. On a broader scale, I'm happy to just be a functioning being without any genetic disorders. The more I learn about bio the greater my astonishment is on how the hell nothing went horriblywrong with my DNA - it simply amazes me

4. My pets - I love my puppies and my cats. I miss them lots in school. I've considered sneaking in a pet. I'm leaning towards a snake but while I'm home I'm quite content with my three dogs and two cats who all seemed to miss me as much as I missed them because none of them leave me alone.

5. Food - I love food and I am so fortunate to be a part of a country that has such a surplus of food that we designate a holiday to it. I hope to help spread the wealth.

6. College - Even though I am not sure if I am going to stay at UVM, I am so thankful for the experiences that I have had there and the friends that I have made. I've learned a lot about myself and my values.

7. AP English - quite literally if it wasn't for AP English I would not be the person I am today. Those classes taught me to enjoy being smart and I thank all of the people that were a part of it.

8. Music - I regret not joining a choir this semester and I miss singing a whole lot but I am so thankful that I was able to be in multiple choirs for four years of my life and that my mind was opened up to all different experiences through music. I am so thankful that when I get stressed I can sit down and play the piano or listen to the Messiah and its calms me.

9. My grandparents - I love my grandparents. We understand each other. Part of me wishes that I grew up in their time but I'm happy to be able to connect to it through them.

10. My Computer - I can not imagine life with out a computer. I feel that at some point in my life I will want to take a year long break from modern technology in order to connect with myself some more but for right now my computer is a life saver.

From this point forward expect less and less meaningful things

11. Clocks - I wouldn't have a clue when I was without them.

12. The fact that my Italian Cheesecake has almost finished cooking - I can go to sleep soon.

13. The fact that I get to quite my job as a glorified telemarketer in a few weeks - I am so sick of asking people for money (even though I'm quite good at it)

14. Microwaves - Easy Mac and other microwaveable meals that I once used to stick my nose up at have recently become a main part of my diet and its really difficult to make said meals with out a microwave.

15. Goldfish - another staple to my diet.

16. The fact that both my italian cheesecake and chocolate truffles look like that will taste amazing tomorrow.

17. The Sun - with out it plants could not grow and I would have nothing to eat.

18. My House - its warm and cozy and home.

19. My Eyes - they are the one part of my body that I am vain about. I love them .

20. Pianos - if pianos didn't exist I wouldn't be able to play them.

21. The fact that a whole bunch of sciency stuff was figured out way before I was born - I just can't imagine my generation taking the time to figure out complicated formulas or periodic trends or anything like that when would we have the time to check our facebooks?

22. That my family slogan is "Another Sudia Adventure" - it gives me a really good outlook on life.

23. Smelly Candles - I know that I'm not supposed to do this but nothing make my dorm feel more homey then lighting the same candles that my mom lights and making it smell like home.

24. The fact that I only have nine more of these to write - harder then I thought.

25. Dark Chocolate Yogurt Covered Raisins - are delicious.

26. knowing That I can Capitalize Any word that I Want to - this is an odd thing to be thankful for.

27. Soap - if it didn't exist there would be many smelly people in this world.

28. Sleeping In - for me this means sleeping to 8 or 9 but I love it all the same.

29. Spices - bland food isn't good.

30. Sexual Reproduction and Cultures - I love learning about how other people live so I am so thankful that people aren't clones of one another and develop differently with different thoughts.

31. That this list is almost done.

32. That I live in a beautiful area of the world both at home and at college.

33. That I am alive.

The Times They are a Changin'

So since my break down with chemistry I have been thinking a lot about change. Just for some clarification I got an 82 on the last test so I am no longer thinking about the 44. As long as I get a C in the class I will be happy - which is totally doable, I might even crank out a B.

Anyway, back to change. During the period of my freak out I was considering different majors, psychology being the main one and now I am considering different schools all together. I do love UVM I love the location and I love the people but one of the things that I love about it, one of the things that drew me to it, is also the thing that I don't like about it and that is how laid back it is. I am a very driven student. If you know me I would assume you know that I set goals and I dedicate copious amounts of time to achieve them. The people that I've met up here, although very intelligent, do not have the same drive that I do and that puts me in quite a pickle.

To study or not to study, that is the question.

I won't lie, I enjoy studying. For one thing, its alone time, which I can always use more of, but other then that, I simply like to learn - I love when things come together and I love to watch myself put stuff together. Studying= good. Unfortunately many people up here do not have the same idea and its difficult to both balance a personal life and get good grades when all your friends are in the hall chatting and you really need/want to study. I don't like to feel like I am isolating myself but I am starting to get that sensation. I feel like I need to be at a school where the students learn for the sake of learning, and not just because they have to. For me, learning comes before partying and frankly, I enjoy it more, so I'm looking for a college with the same values.

That being said, I realize that I have not met all 12,000 people on campus and I am sure that there are some very intellectual people on campus that I have yet to find I just don't want to search for them. I was so excited to get out of high school because I was excited to be surrounded by the people in my AP classes all the time and I don't feel like that's happening. When I went to Cornell I felt that I could learn from all the people around me and I didn't have to search for those people they were just there. Here, I don't get that same vibe and I don't really want to be the minority again like I was in high school. Maybe I'm just lazy.

When I was looking for colleges I ignored liberal arts schools which I am beginning to think was a mistake. The only liberal arts school I did look at was Reed College in Oregon and (sorry mom) it was poo-pooed by my mother because it was not a research institution. I loved Reed because of the student's drive to learn. Classes are difficult but the students are surrounded by others who are going through the same difficulties and they are all driven enough to overcome them. I need that drive. When I applied to colleges I made the mistake of not applying to any reach schools. This left me with the feeling that I could have done better then UVM and I really won't be able to rest until I know if I can or not. Now I am looking at other liberal arts schools like Reed where learning is the main priority - these schools are also pretty difficult to get into so hopefully by applying as a transfer I'll kill to birds with one stone. I need to do a bit more research but there is a good possibility that I will apply to transfer for next fall semester.

Here's a list of colleges I'm considering:

Reed College

Wesleyan University - they have this great Neuroscience and Behavioral major (combo of psych and bio)

Skidmore College - they focus on making their students creative learners (something I always thought was important) and also have a Neuroscience major

Cornell - although not a liberal arts school I have credits there so I might as well apply and see if I get in...mom's pushing for this one.

Now here's what I ask of you all of my smarmey readers (aka AP English class and a few of my mom's friends) are there any other colleges you can think of that would give me the same intellectual stimulus as AP English did where the students are as committed to learning as I aspire to be and at the same time have a personality?

Quickie

I haven't posted any pictures and Vermont is to beautiful for you all not to see. So just a little update on my daily ganders.

I really do walk around and just gawk at how beautiful it is. Every single day there is another view that makes me stop in my tracks and just look. I am going to try to make time to catch the fall foliage and post some more pictures.

Just so you know....

I am not a total failure. I found out that I got a 90 on my bio test today which is also 25 percent of my grade.

I do not completely fail at college. And I am studying so much for chemistry now so that I never do that poorly again..

Life is Good again.

Just Breathe

Yesterday was my first ever three hour exam. It was in chemistry. I did the reading. I did the practice problems. I did the practice tests. I studied an average of 8 hours a day for six consecutive days. I pushed all other assignments aside to study chemistry. I got a 35.

The class average was a 55. It is a class of 206 students. Clearly something is wrong. There will not be a curve. My grade in the class is solely based on four tests.

Luckily, the lowest test score is dropped. I now have a chemistry tutor. I will be attending more office hours. I will get through this and I will do better next time. If I do not do better my mom has promised to not disown me if I change my major to Wildlife Biology which requires much less chemistry.

Life moves on and so will I.

Who are these guys?

Last night after service my friends and I went to a dance party in the basement of Slade Hall. Slade Hall has a co-op with UVM farms and the people who live there grow and cook all of their own food, which is a pretty neat. I had considered living there so I was really excited to see what it was like. I previously thought that the GreenHouse was where all the hippies lived, I was wrong. Slade is where the real hippies live. I walked down stairs and you could cut the cloud of body oder with a knife. Other than that though it was a really cool time. The band that was playing did not have any lyrics they just jammed out (all half naked) and the crowd of people dancing (also half naked) were just rocking to the music and swinging their dreds. It was a really interesting feeling. I've been to local shows before but they were always very intense and mosh pits usually formed - this was so chill and just laid back. Really neat.

This morning I woke up and found out that my neighbors across the hall, Michael and Julian, had these guys who were in a band touring the country sleeping in their room. I don't think that I have ever considered allowing people that I don't know sleep with me, but I guess they needed a place to stay and Michael was either nice or high enough (maybe both) to let them stay with them. As we speak he is going to the grocery store to buy them some food so that after their show tonight at radio-bean they have something to eat on their travels. A girl on my floor, Sophie, gave them a bag of her mom's homemade granola- my Jersey skepticism makes me immediately think that they are up to no good but I am slowly learning that people aren't always going to hurt you.

Today we are all headed down to the farmer's market in Burlington and then are going to go for a walk along the lake. Its going to be a very outdoorsey day - which i'm really excited about. And tonight at 6 we are going to Radio-Bean to see the two guys that slept on our floor play their instruments. Again nothing I never thought I would do yet here I am doing it. College is Great.